• Karen Bacon

When Things Don't Go To Plan. What Do You Do?

Updated: May 10, 2019

When things haven't gone right and I was expecting something different, I really have to withdraw into my shell for a bit.

I need to tuck my head inside and really flesh out what's happened and see where I can improve next time. I retreat inside, grab a cuppa and take time to mull it over.

Retreat inside with a cuppa and mull it over


I have to go over everything a few times and replay it in my head to understand it, and make sense of it. I have to ask myself relevant questions and really grunt it out.

I feel it, viscerally, when things go bad. Once I understand my own part in it, I start to feel better. I have to work things through, it's my way! What was I responsible for? What did I do well, or what didn't I do?

I replay conversations I had, and how I might do them differently next time. I look at the results I got as compared to what I wanted. Then once I have it clear on the mistakes I think I've made, I'm good! I can pop my head out again and wait for the next thing to come along.

I have learned that mistakes are NOT failures.

I simply have learned more, for next time!

Most of the time I find it's been my expectations, my attachment to the outcome that has brought me undone. My attachment to people, things and outcomes actually.

I remind myself of this.....expectations feed frustration, but outcomes...are the one thing we cannot control! They may even make us feel afraid. Afraid to try again!

That's why having a coping mechanism that works for you is so important. Learn from mistakes, and throw yourself back into the arena!

Outcomes are out of your control

Coping Skills

I cope this way, with life's triumphs and tribulations. I'm not sure what a Psychiatrist would think, but no matter, it works for me! I feel grounded and stable most of the time.

What do you do in times of trouble? What gets you through? Do you have any funny little quirks like me?

Feel life!

Kaz xx

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