When Things Don't Go To Plan. What Do You Do?
Updated: May 10, 2019
When things haven't gone right and I was expecting something different, I really have to withdraw into my shell for a bit.
I need to tuck my head inside and really flesh out what's happened and see where I can improve next time. I retreat inside, grab a cuppa and take time to mull it over.
I have to go over everything a few times and replay it in my head to understand it, and make sense of it. I have to ask myself relevant questions and really grunt it out.
I feel it, viscerally, when things go bad. Once I understand my own part in it, I start to feel better. I have to work things through, it's my way! What was I responsible for? What did I do well, or what didn't I do?
I replay conversations I had, and how I might do them differently next time. I look at the results I got as compared to what I wanted. Then once I have it clear on the mistakes I think I've made, I'm good! I can pop my head out again and wait for the next thing to come along.
I have learned that mistakes are NOT failures.
I simply have learned more, for next time!
Most of the time I find it's been my expectations, my attachment to the outcome that has brought me undone. My attachment to people, things and outcomes actually.
I remind myself of this.....expectations feed frustration, but outcomes...are the one thing we cannot control! They may even make us feel afraid. Afraid to try again!
That's why having a coping mechanism that works for you is so important. Learn from mistakes, and throw yourself back into the arena!
I cope this way, with life's triumphs and tribulations. I'm not sure what a Psychiatrist would think, but no matter, it works for me! I feel grounded and stable most of the time.
What do you do in times of trouble? What gets you through? Do you have any funny little quirks like me?
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